Dad breathed as if he were asleep. From under the piano I watched his feet in ravaged dress shoes, sometimes flecked with cast plaster or blood from patients he’d seen during the day. Chords rang out from above, the creak and thump of the mechanisms inside dampening and striking strings with hard felt hammers. When he pivoted on his heel and pressed down on the far right pedal, the entire internal framework of the piano would lift from the strings, leaving them exposed and resonating all at once. They decayed into what seemed like infinity.

In the perfunctory book section of a Chelsea gift shop, I flipped through a copy of Oliver Sacks’ Musicophilia: Tales of Music and the Brain. Father’s Day dinner was in an hour, at a rustic Italian restaurant downtown that reminded us of home though it bore no resemblance. We’d eat and drink, and Dad would pick up the bill. He was still the only one who could afford it.

I landed on a section of the book about a man who gets hit by lightning and becomes passionate about concert piano. I found a card with a picture of a beach at sunset and florid script describing the quiet majesty of fatherhood.

Two very effeminate men stood behind matching cash registers along the thin stretch of store. They were tall with dyed black hair, their skin spray-tanned to a pumpkin hue. They looked like Muppets. One chattered incessantly as he rang up customers, the other smiled and nodded, mute. Overhead, Abba played “Dancin Queen.” They swayed along in time.

A 40ish woman with an assortment of bags stood at the counter as the talkative salesman prepared to gift wrap several candles and picture frames for her. I stepped up to the mute’s register with my book. He reached for it slowly, and twisted it around in his hands, searching for the price.

“It’s on the back,” I offered.

At the other register, the chatty salesman commented on each of the woman’s purchases as he scanned them in.

“Vanilla. Mmmmm. Makes such a yummy room.”

She smiled.

“Well, I have to say, it was a very considered choice. I think you smelled every candle in the store! Ha, I’m just the same. You’re getting this wrapped, yes?”

“Yes.”

“Great. And the frames - they’re for Dad, too?”

“No,” she responded flatly. “My dad’s no longer with us.”

“Oh, well. I’m very sorry to hear it.”

Abba chugged through the awkward silence that ensued.

He continued, “Well, you know - what’s the saying - ‘thanks that they got us here.’ I mean, really, right? They got us here, you know? It’s incredible. Really.”

“Yes. I suppose that is true.” She seemed exhausted. Her bags weighed her down. Her hair was cut short, but looked dirty, with gray roots pushing through mousey brown dye.

My mute cashier had by now located the price tag, and pointed the scanner at the bar code. “You know, maybe I can take the gift wrapping with me, if that’s OK,” I said. He stared blankly, as if he’d forgotten I was there.

Next to me, the dialogue went on. “Well, you’ll light a candle for him in church or something, won’t you?” Both cashiers smiled at the comment.

Her face twisted. “My father sexually abused me as a child.”

I flashed a desperate look at the mute. The bar code had not read properly, and he was now most of the way through manually entering the $14.99 price into the register. I searched my pockets for exact change. Abba, and the other salesman, continued.

“Oh. Dear. Well.” He softened his voice. “This must be a complicated day for you.“

“Yes,” she responded. “He was not a good man.”

I rapped my knuckles on my side of the counter. “Would a twenty cover it? And yeah, the gift wrapping I can do at home. Kind of a rush.” The mute sighed at the general rudeness of customers. People, really.

The woman, equally resigned that her packages would never be gift-wrapped, began opening up. “He was tough. A paratrooper in World War II…”

I looked at the mute. “Please.”

She put her bags down. “I mean, who knows what he went through, himself…”

“Who knows, exactly. Who knows…” the salesman interrupted.

“Forgiveness, you know? I’ve spent a lot of time on it. Not easy.”

“…must be so… yeah. So much.” Both salesmen were now focused on her, nodding in time with Abba.

I slapped a twenty down on the counter. “Just…the box. I’ll figure it out at home.”

The mute spoke. “Do you want a bag for that?”

“Sure just hand it to me.”

He handed me a shopping bag, robin’s egg blue with the store’s name, RAINBOWS AND TRIANGLES, emblazoned in pink across the top. Under the logo, a rainbow arched over a shining, golden triangle. It was as if I’d bought my Father’s Day gift from My Little Pony.

“Veteran’s Day…things got really bad around the house.”

“Oh, my God. Of course. That makes so much sense…”

I headed for the door, for dinner, for Dad. The draft from my passing body engaged the wall of wind chimes which tinkled with metal fairies, flattened spoons and dark stained bamboo stalks that clucked in low, exotic tones.

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Mike Errico official site: http://www.errico.com
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Multi-instrumentalist/songwriter Matt Beck has worked with artists ranging from Matchbox Twenty to Gwen Stefani to Rod Stewart, and has just been hand-picked by Bono and the Edge (of U2) to be the guitarist for Spider-Man, the upcoming mega-musical featuring their music. Beck’s new release, Anything Which Gives You Pleasure, features classic pop songwriting and gorgeous guitar tones gleaned from his years of audio experimentation. “I have somewhere in the realm of 500 pedals. I took over one of my wife’s bookcases with them,” he explains with an unapologetic smile. “Some are very esoteric.”

But which pedals are must-haves? And which ones suck? Beck broke down his library of stomp boxes into easy-to-swallow categories: the ones you need, the ones to avoid, the ones that need a loooong break — and the ones to watch.

By Mike Errico

PEDALS YOU NEED

1) Ibanez TS-9 Tube Screamer: #1, top of the line. I have a bunch, some of which are modified by Robert Keeley, who takes out the insides and replaces the capacitors and resistors and … I don’t really understand it, but it sounds fuller. I also use an original TS-808, which is the original Tube Screamer with the much heralded Germanium chip. The original 808 was green, and has the small square button in the middle, but the originals have a hyphen between the “TS” and the “808,” so that’s how you know what you’re looking at. Just a little tidbit. Even if you don’t use it a lot, this pedal is one that you can’t really live without.

Classic Recorded Example: Stevie Ray Vaughan — who I think used the TS-9’s — something like “Couldn’t Stand the Weather.” They work great with single coils, and of course, Stevie Ray was a single coil player. Such a beautiful, singing tone.

Worst Distortion Pedal: (Laughs) TC Electronics, generally considered high-end gear, makes a booster pedal that is very sought after, but they made a distortion pedal and it’s just the worst. I think it’s just called “Booster/Distortion.” Nobody ever uses the distortion, it’s so shitty, but the booster is actually pretty good. Also, I know this isn’t a pedal, but the distortion on the Roland JC-120 amp is probably the worst I’ve ever heard.

2) Electro-Harmonix Deluxe Memory Man: Industry standard, just the best. It was the next step after tape echo machines and tries to emulate those delays without the tape breaking down and all that. Back story: On old tape machines the motors are inconsistent, so when the tape comes around the head there’s a kind of slow modulation. I’m not a studio engineer type guy so I couldn’t tell you exactly the details, but that’s what this pedal is all about. Awesome.

Classic Recorded Example: All the early Edge stuff on U2, until he got into the rack gear — then he had a TC Electronics 2290. But I think for the first two records (Boy, October) he was exclusively using Memory Mans. He said he was more of the timekeeper of the band than the drummer (Larry Mullen, Jr.) — he’d get the song’s tempo on the delay first, and then the band would play along. I’ve been doing a lot of research on the Edge since being picked by him to play Spider-Man.

Worst Delay Pedal: The Boss delays aren’t the greatest. They got better as they went along. But the first one I had was a DD-1, and I thought it was badass. Funny, I’ve never thought about “worst”, I’ve always been looking for good stuff!

3) Demeter Tremulator This tremolo pedal is even better than my Boss TR-1 or TR-2 tremolos that are modded by Robert Keeley. The Tremulator is very natural sounding, just like amp trem, and doesn’t suck up any volume the way pre-modded Boss trems do. It doesn’t take up a lot of space on the pedal board, either.

Classic Recorded Example: It’s hard to tell with tremolos, you know? I know I use it live. I took it on the road with the Break and Repair Method, which features Paul Doucette from Matchbox Twenty. I still take out the TR-2, but I love the Tremulator.

Worst Tremolo Pedal: Hm… the Ibanez TL 5.

4) AC Booster, by Exotic Effects: Treble boosts started way back with the British rockers, like when Eric Clapton used the The Rangemaster — the Holy Grail of treble boosts — to push the front end of the amp into distortion. But the Rangemaster is not something people can’t live without, because they’re just not that attainable. I use the AC Booster by Exotic Effects. It’s got four knobs on it — bass, treble, gain and volume — so you can actually add some distortion or separate out the bass and treble. If you have an aggressive setting, you could just use it for leads.

Worst Boost Pedal: That’s a tough call, as it’s hard to mess up pure db gain.

5) Z-Vex Seek Wah: It’s an X factor type pedal that gives that “whoa” kind of thing. Bascially, the sound goes through a sequence of eight fixed settings of a wah at different tempos, giving a weird jumble of vowels through the signal. It was designed as an emulation of the old Oberheim OB-8 synthesizers that had the “sample and hold” functions. Think ELP’s “Karn Evil 9″: “…welcome back my friends to the show that never ends…” I’ve gotten a little tired of it, but it’s made it onto a lot of records I’ve done. There’s also something called a Robo Talk made by Exotic Effects which actually is the sample and hold function of the Oberheim.

Classic Recorded Example: (Sings) “…welcome back my friends/ to the show that never ends…” That opening synth? That’s what it sounds like.

Worst Seek Wah: There is only one, so…

PEDALS THAT NEED A BREAK

1) Z-Vex Seek-Wah: (Laughs) I think I’m partially responsible for its downfall, too. It’s a great pedal, but so idiosyncratic. There’s no hiding it, and it only does one thing, so I kind of cringe when I hear it now.

2) The Wah Wah…with an explanation…: It’s because people don’t play it well. They don’t play it right. They sit there and they wank on it in time, so I don’t want to say that it’s over, because in capable hands it’s so expressive, but for the most part the idiots that step on that thing have killed it.

3) Phaser: It’s a little played. I think ’70s and sometimes ’80s… you know, when they put the whole song through them, like Eagles “Life in the Fast Lane” or Zeppelin’s “Kashmir” — which is just the drums, and is kind of cool, but still… when someone hits it, it’s like they’re trying to be all psychedelic and heroin-y… not good.

4) Doubling effects: Any harmonizers that give the ability to play stuff in fifths, like Yes’ “Owner of a Lonely Heart”… I mean, c’mon.

5) Whammy Pedal I think Tom Morello (Rage Against the Machine/Audioslave) owns it. He was coming from a hip-hop thing, and showed such ingenuity on it that anyone else sounds derivative. Now when you hear it you roll your eyes like, “there’s some guy wanking on that fucking thing again.”

THE NEW HOTNESS

Mid Fi Electronics Pitch Pirate: It’s basically a pedal that uses portamento, makes wild vibrato swings and also times out slides from one note to another. It sounds less like a Whammy Pedal, and more like you’re twisting a knob on a Moog synth. It’s pretty cool.

Clari(Not): Similar, but it brings in delay and fuzz.

Boss Slicer pedal: This one could go the way of the Seek Wah, but it’s new. It takes the phrase you play and cuts into it so it sounds like you’re playing to a drum beat. You can set the rhythm and it’ll send the signal back to you all chopped up. Weird.

Matt Beck Official MySpace Page
Matt Beck, Anything Which Gives You Pleasure is available now

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Mike Errico official site: http://www.errico.com
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