Recent Study Claims 60 Percent of College Students Have Sex with Their Friends.

According to LiveScience.com: “Can two people have sex and still remain “just friends?” A recent study found that 60 percent of college students have been in a “friends with benefits” relationship, but that the possibility for romantic feelings — and a lack of communication — can complicate such an arrangement.”

Read the grisly details of what others were doing while you were practicing scales in your dorm room: http://www.livescience.com/culture/090402-friends-with-benefits.html

On the bright side, at least you can play “Eruption.” Sorta.

By Mike Errico

An overview on how to deal with the inevitable speed bump of live performance: the drunken, howling d-bag.

The Batshit: Instead of hearing new material for his next Arsenio spot, Bill Hicks fans witness a spectacular new chapter in heckler history.

The Casual Death Threat: Radiohead’s Thom Yorke proves it’s cool not to care: He tosses out a simple invitation to a backstage beatdown, and gets back to business. Done and done.

The Communist Manifesto: By immediately aligning himself with the audience, George Carlin strips the heckler of his anonymity, turns the whole room against him, abuses both him and his mom, and is awesome in the process. There’s a reason this man’s a legend.

The Rocky Balboa: Instead of cowering in the face of derision at a Philly show, comedian Bill Burr fires back, blow for blow. He abuses the audience simply by using every agonizing second of his allotted set time to massacre the city and its inhabitants (highlight: “Fuck the Liberty Bell.”). The result: Standing O. Go figure.

The Appeal to the Judges: Serena Williams’ concerns are justified, but by airing them to the umpire, she makes him complicit in potential charges of sexual harassment and hate crime. It’s less hands-on than Jimmy Connors might have handled it, but effective, nonetheless.

The Crotchety Grandpa: Ronald Reagan, aka the Great Communicator, lays it out like a fart at the Thanksgiving table.

The Wrath of God: By placing the mic close to the mouth and speaking quietly through the amplified P.A. system, a performer can create a kind of disembodied “God voice,” and from that vantage point can concoct the offender’s miserable inner monologue. Henry Rollins is good at this.

The “Heckler’s Mom”: If you’re not good at improvising, simply have something prepared in advance.

The Violent Act of… Violence: At the end of the day, all most performers want to do to a heckler is bust a goddamn guitar over his drunken skull. This guy lived the dream.

The Cut and Run: Because sometimes, you’ve got to know when to walk away…and know when to run.

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Mike Errico official site: http://www.errico.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Mike-Errico/8888939428

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/Tallboy7Vids

By Mike Errico

I bet you get a lot of email forwards about “finding your inner [whatever].” Perhaps your mom sends them, like Trojan horses for comments about how she’ll die never having held a grandchild. That you’re ripping simple joys from the woman who bore you. And do you know how much it hurt? Like a bitch. That’s how much.

Consider your options, from people who teeter on the same edge you do.

1) Here’s a video from Elizabeth Gilbert, the woman who wrote Eat Pray Love, and no I didn’t read it. I also didn’t read Eats, Shoots & Leaves — I thought was a porn film. I mean, c’mon. Perfect porn title? Anyway, She’s in hell. She kinda hides it, but not well. I mean, her next book is a guaranteed flop compared to the last one, and she knows it. Alanis Morrissette had the same problem… see where I’m going?

So, what next? Her answer is simple: Just show up for work. That’s it. Drag that goddamn pen ceaselessly across the page. And people will say what they will. Eff ‘em.

I knew nothing about this woman and never read the book, but still wanted to hate this video. I suck that way. Turns out, it’s pretty interesting, especially if you’re exhausted with the completely overused stamp of “GENIUS.” She traces the word’s history to its origins, and as a result, liberates anyone who ever tried to make so much as a pinch pot or oven mitt for the mother that hates you (see above).

CLICK THE PICTURE FOR GUARANTEED OPRAH-FREE VIDEO

2) Then there’s David Foster Wallace, the subject of an amazing article in last week’s New Yorker. Revered as a genius, he caught an era of literary fiction in amber… and freaked out. He’d had problems all along, but after a few suicide attempts, he hanged himself September 12, 2008, leaving an unfinished book that, DAMN IT, sounded like it was going to be awesome. It was going to be set in the I.R.S., where he would have offered our over-entertained nation the power of boredom as a force for change… or something. I mean, he didn’t finish it, so he leaves it to jackasses like me to “interpret.”

CLICK FOR NEW YORKER ARTICLE

The result? Unfinished work.

I’m not telling you which way to go on this one. (I know you come to Velvet Rope for all your life-and-death decision-making needs, so I offer that as a legal disclaimer.) I’m just saying that you’re making the kind of choice that big shots make every day. I’m just saying welcome to the club.

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Mike Errico official site: http://www.errico.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Mike-Errico/8888939428
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/Tallboy7Vids

If you’re reading this, chances are you’re not at Mardi Gras. Wherever you are, take a moment to conjure an ecstatic and impossibly colorful place — that’s New Orleans, and in particular, that’s New Orleans at Mardi Gras.

Antoinette K-Doe, the widow of rhythm & blues legend Ernie K-Doe, died early Mardi Gras morning of a heart attack. She was 66.

Antoinette presided over the Mother-in-Law Lounge, a small, funky club in the shadow of I-10 on North Claiborne Avenue that she opened to give Ernie a steady place to play. In the process, she helped orchestrate a renaissance in his career, and after his death in 2001 she preserved her late husband’s memory while contributing to a New Orleans community very much in need.

I had the opportunity to interview her at the Mother-in-Law Lounge at Mardi Gras last year. She had laid out a buffet at the foot of the stage featuring a dark, thick stew seasoned with unknown animal vertebrae. Musicians wandered in and out, played, drank and passed time. In the resulting video, she discusses the club, and the city, she loves. She will be missed.

Here’s the link:
http://www.blender.com/Antoinettekdoeinterview/video/804.aspx

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Mike Errico official site: http://www.errico.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Mike-Errico/8888939428
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/Tallboy7Vids